he wants to bone in the snuggie
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
