Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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