The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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