It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
