Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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