hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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