No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
