What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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