Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
