If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
