Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize