D3 body, D1 cock
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
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I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
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You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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