At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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