Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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