Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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