the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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