At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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