I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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