its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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