You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
