We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
