Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize