nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
