He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
