Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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