Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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