6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize