haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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