he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
