Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?