We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
