You're my little dorito
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
