Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
