And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
