What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You are a genius and a whore.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
