Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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