you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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