So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
