I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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