I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize