So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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