thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Everclear isn't food dammit