There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
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seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
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He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY