Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he's gonorrhea incarnate
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!