My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
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I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino