Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.