if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?