WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
