i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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