The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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