just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
