All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
