When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
