This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
