i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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