So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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