hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
