Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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