You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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