I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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