Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
