I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
