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I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i will never coherently bang her
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
