he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
