everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
